Shocking Discovery
I carry a small purse. Sometimes, I just carry my wallet with my keyfob and phone. That’s it. I like having minimal stuff. It makes my life easier and simple.
But I have this amazing purse from Italy that I love. It’s gorgeous. It’s a beautiful reddish-brown leather. It reminds me of my amazing trip each time I use it. And, it’s big enough to carry my laptop and a notebook easily.
Since I work from home and only bring my tiny purse and notebook to most meetings, I leave the big, leather bag at home.
This week, I was meeting with someone and knew I wanted to spend the morning in the coffee shop working when she left. I pulled out my bag and off I went.
What I didn’t expect was to find a chunk of glass from my accident in the bottom of the purse. A small square chunk that made my heart race and my stomach drop. One tiny piece of glass that brought it all back in a flash.
It’s not like I haven’t used the purse in the last 2.5 years. I have. It’s not like there’s a lot in the purse. There’s not. I’m talking about reading glasses, wallet, fan (because menopause), computer and notebook in the center part. Chapstick, keys, inhaler, business cards, pens and lip gloss in the small pocket. That’s literally it.
So how did I miss this chunk of glass before? Where was it hiding? Will I ever stop getting that sudden visceral reaction from reminders of my accident? Things so unexpected that I can’t plan for them?
I can’t help losing my breath everytime someone pulls into the road from my right. I gasp, sometimes jerking the wheel, each time. Will that trauma ever subside?
There are times in your life when you must walk through the darkness. There are times when you get a small glimpse of something and you are right back in the depths.
What’s important is not that this happens, but how you handle it. What do you do to calm yourself? How do you walk back down from that height of anxiety? One that took a nanosecond to reach.
That morning, I gasped, pulled the chunk out, took a few more slow breaths and snapped this picture. THEN, I remembered how grateful I am to be here. Then, I remembered my blessings. Then, I smiled because I have another day to celebrate this life.
Yes, it totally caught me by surprise. Yes, it took my breath away for a moment. And then, I celebrated life because it is a gift.
What’s your jaw-dropping, scare-the-crud out of you reminder? How do you handle it? I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk.