Resting in the Pause
You’ve probably heard me say it. “I learned to rest in the pause after my accident.” And ladies, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to rest in the pause. I’m going to give myself a pause.
When I started Queens of Moxie, it gave me purpose. It gave me a way to make sense of my accident. It gave me an opportunity to find joy in new ways and to embrace my loud, independent and lively self in a way I’d never done before. And, it gave me a great big pause. Literally and figuratively. And I wanted to share that with the world. It became my mission. My battle cry, “Step into joy and live your authentic life!”
As you may know, in January, I started an amazing job. It is my first full-time job in two years. And I really enjoy it. I work with wonderful people. I believe deeply in our cause and my work is challenging and fulfilling. I’m incredibly grateful for the flexibility I have to rest when I need to and to get the work done in a way that makes sense for me and my damaged brain.
For five months, I have woken early on Saturday and Sunday mornings and worked for six hours straight on Queens of Moxie things. I’ve taken classes. I’ve attended workshops. I’ve expanded what I’m offering.
And what I loved shifted into an obligation, something that was always hanging over my head, needing more attention.
In a few short weeks, Finn will graduate, Evan will turn 21 and I will move to a new state with a new, exciting life. For the first time in 21 years, I will have no obligations to anyone but myself and work. I won’t have to worry about making sure my kids get to where they need to be, buying food they like and confirming the details of their everyday life. For the first time, my time will be just that, my time.
I look forward to exploring Wilmington. I look forward to yoga on the pier, walks in the early hours on the beach with Jake (my sweet dog), playing the tourist – going to new restaurants, plays, concerts, gardens and historic sites. I look forward stand up paddle boarding and kayaking in the ocean. I look forward to exploring new shops and taking a painting class and probably a hand building clay class. I look forward to concerts at the two amphitheaters and to meeting new people. I look forward to cooking what I want, not necessarily what Finn will eat. In other words, I look forward to writing my next chapter and for once, being self-centered instead of other-centered. Can you relate?
With this new world of opportunities ahead of me, I realize that I need to take a complete break from Queens of Moxie. I’m not giving it up. I’m just taking a pause. When I return to it, I want to be fully invested in developing meaningful programs and community. I want to be so ready to jump in that the excitement emanates off of me. I want to be so filled with purpose that you can’t help but want to join in. And I hope you will join me in the adventure when the time is right.
This isn’t “Goodbye.” This is, “See you later.” This is, “Let’s celebrate all that we have in the moment and take a great big breath, a deep sigh.” Because that’s what this is for me. A deep sigh.
I’ll continue to post Motivational Monday images and quotes. I’ve already mapped them out for the year. I hope you’ll follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram where you can find them. I may post an occasional blog. I may not. And I hope that you will take a deep sigh and rest in the pause when you need to. Life goes fast and if we are constantly going and focusing on our to-do list, we miss the opportunities to rest, to enjoy, to breathe and to live.
For now,
“May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.”
Mary Kay